The weather forecast for South Florida is sunny with an opportunity of stunning iguana. Miami faces its coldest Christmas in more than 20 years, and the National Weather Service has issued a warning that chilly temperatures could cause ectotheramus to be trimmed from trees or curling on sidewalks and roadways.
In a year of murder, caterpillars with vomit-poisoned hair, and aggressive (and poisonous too!) Toads, iguans falling from trees are actually very mild on the cursed-ness scale. But as someone who is afraid of snakes and only tolerates lizards lightly, the possibility of crooked reptiles creeping down on my head is still a strong “void” for me.
The iguana is not a native of Florida, which featured South Beach and beyond after gaining a byelection in the state in the 1960s. He has been spotted from Gainesville to Florida Keys. But unless they clearly have a liking for the Sunshine State, they are not compatible with occasional cold spells to come.
This week’s Cold Snap is a case in point. A hurricane system is set up across the East Coast on Christmas Eve, and cold air will run behind it in the southeast. While one may hear “chills” from Minneapolis, the Christmas forecast is comparable to a deep chill for Miami and other parts of Florida. Christmas Day will be in the low 60s. This will not be an issue in and for iguanas only. Instead, it remains overnight where lizards can be seen in catharsis. According to the National Weather Service, along the inland parts of Florida, temperatures will drop slightly in the upper 40s and lower all the way north to the low 30s. It is the coldest Christmas symbol since 1999.
Once the temperature falls below 50 degrees Fahrenheit, the iguana moves into a torture. Passengers’ wrong feet or iguanicles outside the tires of cars are not endangered. Although I may not be a fan of the lizard, I would never advocate kicking the iguana while it is down, let alone walking it. If you happen upon one, the best thing to do is to take it out of harm’s way and let nature do its thing.
This is not Florida’s first stunned-iguana rodeo. In fact, it began the year with a cold iguana, and a similar stun-rama occurred in January 2018. Nor are iguans the only animals that have been shocked by the cold. In Massachusetts, volunteers have begun their annual mission to rescue sea turtles that may actually be dead or injured by cold after being trapped in chilly waters far away from the Cape.
The West Coast is entering a “slaughter phase” with assassination horns. Now the East Coast is approaching bad bug action, also as the beloved poisonous caterpillar, which can make people vomit and feel like they are going into shock all over Virginia. And more like these horror show bugs out here in the United States, get rich? (It’s Friday, I’m tired. Let me do it.)
Virginia’s Forestry Department has received reports of planting pus caterpillars across the state. The caterpillars are about an inch and a half long and look like the result of a shag rug and clam shell mate. As a bald person, I would totally kill the luscious locks of the caterpillar. As a person who does not vomit in the fetal position, there is no way in hell, I am not going near that thing.
Pus hides the caterpillar’s fuzzy skin. It is the most poisonous caterpillar found in America, and its sting can cause nausea, vomiting, bloating and itching, and feelings of anxiety. Not pleasant, to say the least. In recent weeks, Virginia residents have unfortunately had a chance to experience this. A woman from the Richmond area touched one and said it felt like “a hot knife passing through the outside of my baby’s belly”. He was admitted to the emergency room to treat Sting. This is Virginia’s second outbreak of the strange bug this year. Sikadas shook the kingdom during this summer season.
But sobs were expected; Insects emerge like clockwork every two decades. The presence of the Pus Caterpillar in Virginia, however, is surprising. While their range runs as far north as New Jersey, they mostly roam south and parts of Texas. But there is a wet and strong heat in Virginia, which can increase off-take in sight of the caterpillar. Climate change is, of course, a factor of warmer-than-normal conditions and is causing more steep declines, although there is no overall overall trend in summer rainfall in Virginia.